No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
