p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
