I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Randomize