Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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