I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize