next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
