I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
