dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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