i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
