You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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