The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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