good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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