How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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