you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
