Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
