the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
