I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
