JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
