I didn't shave. On purpose
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Operation Purity has been aborted
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
