Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
