I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize