I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
