Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
