okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
