What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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