ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
