Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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