I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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