dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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