Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
