Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
