She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
