She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
