Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize