The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
