dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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