So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Bring me that man meat
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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