so that wasnt chicken after all
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Randomize
