i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
