her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
