drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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