I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
