Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
