my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
