Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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