On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
