You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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