do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
