This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
