Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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