I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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