Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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