Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize