My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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