too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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