I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
