i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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