her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
