I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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