Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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