ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
