he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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