Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
